I've been little bit lost without you

and I'm a bloody big mess inside

Last week was soooo great, I had so many memorable things and meet new people

and that almost hurts.. cause I'm moving away. So it's kind of unfair to meet great people now.

Yesterday dad picked up most of my stuff so it's really empty in here now, it's weird.

Now I should really pack rest of my stuff and clean this place and then go to my sisters place (I'm going to stay there for few nights.. cause I still have work in here.)

Here is just few pics that I took yesterday, when I had so much space to take pics :DD

hmh.. I feel sooooo weird.

can't write anything sensible now, so I will just stop.

How can you show me paradise when I'm leaving?

Summer is finally here (yes, I know it has been "summer" already like two months.. but it's been raining all the time)

And I can wear my shorts, and I loooooove that :)

(I have noticed, that when reading my blog you can find out that I love lot of things :DD)

Now I should be packing all my stuff, mum picked up some of them this morning and I got a feeling that maybe all this stuff will end someday (alrhought it feels like I have waaaay too much things..)

Tomorrow dad will come and take rest of them, and then I just have to clean this place up and it's about that..

weird 

I'm going to be "homeless" for almost a month

I have apartment in that city where I'm moving to, but I can't get my stuff (or myself) there before second last week of august, so I'm just living at my sister's and my dad's place (and at my friends place who I will visit in netherlands, I wait that so so much!)

Now I'm going to swimming with friend and after that I will (seriously!!) pack up :p

And she's got everything that I have to live without

It's just one more week from now.. no, under week. And I don't have keyes to this place anymore. Cause I have to give them away at monday.

Brrr...

feels so strange. All these memories, all those good and bad things that is here, to me, always.

It's so strange, to leave from here, where has been my safe place and most lonely nights and moments for two years...

Hopefully I find another home from somewhere, from someone maybe...

And I will not only miss this apartment, and all the people and stuff..

One of the things that I'll miss the most, is this city, cause even before I felt like home in this apartment, I felt home in this city.

It will be my home for looooong long time from now, I know that, I can always take a train and come and walk these streets and feel safe and like home.

I have Taylor Swift moment now :P

Means that I have been listening her all morning, weird, cause I do listen her sometimes but not many songs after another.

But this morning I just have feeling that fits to those songs... don't know why, cause most of them (like most of every song) is about love or loosing it or wanting it

and I don't have any of those feelings now

like,

I'm not in love, I haven't resently lose one and I don't want that now

I mean like... I love some people, and they (hopefully) love me back and I have lost some people that I love (not resently though) but it's not that kind of  love what those songs are about :)

Hmmh, gotta go to get some more boxes soon and at evening I go to poledance by myself (open pole thing) its really nice, cause I haven't practise loooong time any other moves than ones that are in my coreography that i perform in two weeks.

So now I shoooould go and do something else than just sit and think (I do that quite lot nowadays, it just hit me so badly how fast time went till this time that I'm really moving)

Like go to library and finally return those books that are soooo late...

that pic just make me smile.

someday I will

be everything that I wanted

So here we go bluebird

I have been quite melancholic at this weekend, well.. no, just today.

Yesterday I were at Särkänniemi (it's one amusement park in here) that was fun and I didn't think any heavy stuff almost whole day.

Except at train on my way back home.

I have been this melacholic because of my moving out and thinking about all the things that will change. I wait them to though, but still, it always makes me a little bit blue, thinking about all that :)

Today I went to coffee with myself (I were going to library, but it was closed) and I found and bought one book that sounded good (and it is too) and it's so weird, like it's written from my life :D

the girl in the book is few years older than me though but still :) 

that's me (number)

From tomorrow till thursday I got to go to work everyday, but after that we're going to go to our summer cottage with one of my friends (I reeeeeally hope that it's going to be nice weather then)

And then it's almost august already, brrrr.. time goes so fast.

Now I go and do something sensible, like finally wash my dishes :P

Bye!

Happy Birthday to me (late)

I started to write this post at sunday (my birthday) but then I were waaaaayy too busy, whole day. I have to go to work and after that to pole dance and after that few drinks with my friend.

So I didn't finnish this,

and beginning of this week has been quite messy and busy too, so I'm writing now :)

I didn't really know what I should write on my birthday, so I decided just to put loooot of  pics of me (and few others) from past years.

So here they are, enjoy ;P

ps. I really really miss my redhair

Pics are not in any order, just random :)

Mickey

anything but ordinary

my oh my

liikaa

tähtikaaren taa

minna ja lissu

Mmmbop

paradise city

platinum blonde life

everlong

sekoitat mun maailman

toy boy

rude boy

there is also few songs that I used to listen long (or longer) time ago :) enjoy

(and few that I still listen)